Savannah Guthrie Breaks Down Discussing Today Show Return After Mom’s Disappearance: ‘I Cry Every Morning on the Way to Work’

Savannah Guthrie is opening up about her emotional return to the Today show after the disappearance of her mother, Nancy Guthrie.

On Monday, June 8, Savannah guest co-hosted Today with Jenna & Sheinelle, where she got candid with longtime friend Jenna Bush Hager about her struggles since her return to Today in April.

“First of all, I can’t really even look at you every day without crying,” Savannah told Bush Hager while tearing up. “You are my best friend. You know, it’s really hard to come back. I’ve been trying so hard to hold it together, and I promise I will.”

The longtime journalist, 54, added that being around Bush Hager, 44, can almost be too difficult for her as she tries to remain professional and cover the news.

“When I see you in the morning, I know you see me, no matter what is going on,” Savannah told her. “And sometimes that’s almost too much because I feel like to do the job I gotta keep it together, pull it together. But I’m happy to be back. It’s like the two hours of my day — it’s not that I’m not thinking about it, because I am, but it’s something to do and it brings me a lot of joy to be with everybody. But, no, it’s not easy.”

Calling the NBC morning show a “little respite” in her day, Savannah added that it doesn’t take away from the pain she’s enduring in Nancy’s absence.

“It’s always with me,” Savannah said. “I cry every morning on the way to work, and I cry every morning on the way home. And I’m grateful to have good friends and to be able to come to such a beautiful and joyous and supportive place. Like so many people out there, you can hold all of these things together. I try to tell my kids that too. We can hold our sadness and we can hold our joy. And if you don’t believe it, just watch me.”

She added that while she may be smiling on Today, that doesn’t mean she has forgotten the pain.

“I know maybe people wonder, ‘Whoa, what’s going on? How’s she able to do that job? Is she not thinking about it? Did she forget?’ No, never. Never,” she said.

As for her mother’s case, Savannah reiterated, “We still need everybody’s prayers. I wish someone would call and say what they know and tell the truth.”

Savannah’s comments come months after her 84-year-old mother was last seen going into the garage of her Tuscon, Ariz., home at 9:50 p.m. on Saturday, Jan. 31. She was reported missing by her family at 12:03 p.m. local time on Feb. 1, after she failed to show up for a virtual church service.

The Pima County Sheriff’s Department and FBI have since led a search to find Nancy, although no suspects have been named.

The FBI and the PCSD later released surveillance footage and images from Nancy’s Nest doorbell camera, which showed a masked intruder walking up to the front door of her home the night of her abduction. The camera was disconnected at 1:47 a.m., local time the night of Nancy’s disappearance. At 2:12 a.m., a person was detected by the camera. Just 16 minutes later, Nancy’s pacemaker was disconnected from the pacemaker app on her cellphone.

Savannah and her siblings, Annie and Camron, have been advocating for their mother’s return since the day she was reported missing. On Feb. 24, Savannah announced that the family was offering a reward of up to $1 million for any information leading to Nancy’s recovery, in addition to the FBI’s reward of $100,000.

Savannah also shared that the family donated an additional $500,000 to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

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On March 26, Hoda Kotb, who had been filling in for her former colleague on Today, announced that Savannah would be returning to the show on April 6. Savannah also sat down with Kotb for a multi-part conversation that week, marking her first on-air appearance since Nancy went missing.

“Faith is how I will stay connected to my mom. God is how I’m holding hands with my mom,” Savannah said. “I won’t let sadness win for her. She taught me. I saw her grieve. I saw her world shatter. I saw it. And I saw her get up and I saw her believe. And I saw her love. And I saw her hope and I saw her smile and I saw her laugh. I saw her joy. I saw her love of the world and adventure. I saw her belief. I saw her faith. She taught me. She taught all of us.”

The anchor credited Nancy with teaching her to be “resolute and strong,” and “a noble creature” who “walks in faith.” She further explained that her own two children, Vale, 11, and Charley, 9, gave her strength during the challenging time.

“I may not do it as well as her, but I will do it. I will do it for my kids. I will. I will not fall apart. I will not let whoever did this take my children’s mother from them. I will not let them take my joy,” Savannah said. “They will not take my sister’s joy. They will not take my brother’s joy. They will not take our love. They will not take our faith. But our anguish is real. We need help. We need someone to tell the truth.”

She then pleaded: “As I said to myself, ‘I can handle anything, God, I can handle anything. I just can’t handle not knowing. We can’t handle not knowing. I have to know.’ And I heard a voice. And it said, ‘You do know where she is. She’s with me. She’s with me.’ So whether she’s on this side still or whether she is in heaven, I know where she is. I know who she’s with. But we need to know.”

In May, Pima County Sheriff Chris Nanos told PEOPLE that he was confident that the case would be solved. “My team, I’ve said all along, they’re gonna solve this,” Nanos said. “I fully, 100% believe that.”

Anyone with information about Nancy’s disappearance is asked to please contact 1-800-CALL-FBI (1-800-225-5324) or the Pima County Sheriff’s Department 520-351-4900.